Wednesday, November 11, 2009


Almost two years ago exactly, I wrote this. And now this. May he rest in peace and his surviving family find the comfort they need.

Thursday, November 05, 2009

I Expected No Less

About a week ago, I finally told my brother and sister about the book. My brother was excited for me , asked lots of questions, and generally was happy.

My sister's response was a tad different. But I expected that.

When I called, she was at the computer. I guided her through an Amazon search to find the book. When she finally found the right page, she said, "Oh!" and "Did you really write the whole thing?" and "Really?" I tried to tell her more about it, but it was clear she wasn't interested. She spent the next 10 minutes ranting about her Spanish class and how rude the instructor is to actually give pop quizzes and lead the class in Spanish. ("Doesn't she know we can't understand a word she says?")

Several days later, we talked again. She did not mention the book at all. Ok.

The next day she called and spent 20 minutes going off on her mother-in-law. Whatever. (Her mother-in-law is a piece of work,)

This evening, on the way home, I really, really needed to vent to someone about something about the book. I have to make a bunch of edits by tomorrow, and am feeling bullied to make some changes I don't feel comfortable with. So I called, and got her voice mail. A couple minutes later she called back, sounding very happy. So I started to tell her my vent, and she interrupts me, "I made a mistake calling you. I'm too busy to talk."

My sister has NEVER been able to be happy for me in any way. She pulled shit at my wedding, each time I had a child, every single time something good has happened to me. It's why I didn't tell her about the book (and therefore didn't tell my brother and still haven't told my mother - of course, my mother likely would have the same reaction as my sister...they are more alike than my sister will ever admit).

I expected no less, and yet... I hoped. I hoped maybe this time would be different. I know it won't be different, yet I keep going back for more.