Guilt

Not mine.

My sister and I have talked very little in the last couple of months. It's mostly fine by me.

However, she feels guilty about the way she behaved although she won't admit it. How do I know this?

For Christmas she sent me, among other things, a one pound box of See's candies. All dark chocolate Scotchmallows.

The woman who is KNOWN for her cheap shopping and re-gifting had to go have that box put together specially, and paid full-price.

The ball is in my court - as long as I don't actually insist we talk about what happened. Still considering what to do about it. Hmmm.

Mutant Child

I took M and S to a new dentist today. Our old dentist is retiring and selling his practice to someone new; I decided to take the opportunity to move the kids to a pediatric dentistry practice.

The new practice was fabulous with S. Really great. It was her first full cleaning, and they even managed xrays.

M had the full treatment, too, including panoramic xrays which revealed something very interesting. The kid has an extra tooth buried high in the gums between his two front teeth. Seriously - he has three front teeth.

We'll be having him evaluated by an oral surgeon sometime soon. They may or may not need to remove it surgically.

(Very amusingly...after this discovery, I called a close friend and left her a message about it..she called back later as she had been at the dentist with her #2 son this morning and discovered he is missing a front tooth! The baby tooth has come out and there is nothing to take it's place. Dental transplant anyone?)

Addictions: A Meme

Lynne over at La Vida Es Un Sueno tagged me. I have to admit five additions.

I have more than five addictions. But do I have five that I will admit to?

Hmm....okay, here goes:

• Coffee - an obvious but very true answer.

• Really good sheets on my bed. I mean, really good. It's an area where I will splurge every few years. I like my bed.

• Kisses - the human kind (though the chocolate ones are pretty good, too). Particularly those from my husband and a certain 4 year old daughter. I'd be addicted to kisses from the boys, too, but those are so few and far between that I tend to think of them as super special treats only.

• Sunshine. It's kind of amusing that it took a move from the desert southwest to New England to realize I need sun. Need it. Late fall is a tough time for me. In "light" of that (har, har), belated Happy Solstice, everyone! It's all up hill from here.

• Internet, of course. Of course. How did we live before Al Gore invented this nifty set of tubes?

Those who know me well may be surprised that knitting is not on the list. That's because I consider knitting to a past and hopefully future addiction. I miss it!

Now...whom to tag....the usual suspects...no repercussions if you choose not to participate...

• Ruthie
• Wakeupandsmellthecoffee
• SoftintheHead
• Asdis (even though I can't read most of it!)
• eba

And Happy Solstice, Happy Hannukah, Happy Christmas, and Happy New Year....

There is Always One

Excuse the language, but I am pissed.

Every year, there is at least one mail-order/catalog company that completely fucks up, and therefore fucks up my gift-giving. Every year it's a different company. Every year it's a different issue. Yet something happens every year.

Ugh.

Apparently it Does Matter

In the early morning, when C is leaving the house to meet the bus, I say after him, "Bye, sweetheart. I love you. Have a good day."

C always grunts back. That's an almost 13 year old for you.

This morning was my early morning at work and my husband was at home to get the kids off. Apparently, as C left the house, my husband said to him, "See ya."

C stopped, turned around and said, "Is that all you are going to say?"

My husband reports that he looked at C somewhat quizzically.

C told him, "Mom says, 'I love you,' and 'Have a good day,' to me."

My husband was somewhat taken aback and didn't respond quickly, during which time C said, "Okay, then, bye," and left.

I'll take parenting validation where I can - and I just did.

Eighteen Eyes

It was inevitable.

I wear glasses. My husband wears glasses. C wears glasses. It's now M's turn.

At his annual physical in October, the nurse noted during the vision test that one of his eyes is a good bit weaker than the other. Just like me. And it's his right eye, just like me. I figured I'd get him into the optometrist "soon." Read: procrastinate as long as possible.

Then a couple people mentioned to me that he seemed not to be able to read things at a distance well. Okay, no more procrastinating.

Yesterday was the appointment, and sure enough, glasses are on the way.

After determining this, the optometrist walked with us to the area of her office where the frames are. She picked out a couple and tried them on M. They looked good. I checked the price. The first pair she picked was $245. For the frame. For a nine year old.

I don't think so.

The next pair was $180.

Nope.

And on like that.

I recognize that the economy is probably taking it's toll on the optometrist, too, but get real. I wouldn't put glasses that expensive on a kid in boom times. Especially since C has already gone through pairs of glasses, three of which are at the bottom of the harbor.

Finally, *I* found a pair that was on special for $75 for everything. They looked fine on M. Done.

I think we're going to find a new optometrist.

They Are All at My House

I've been amused at the reports of an acorn shortage in the news this year. The experts obviously haven't been to our town.

We are overrun. I'm going to be spending days picking oak seedlings out of the lawn in the spring. The kids kick them and see how many they can crush underfoot as they walk to the bus. They crunch under the wheels of the car.

The squirrels are happy.

Niche Markets

At the Lego store the other day, we picked up a copy of a magazine for Lego "enthusiasts" (that would be us). It's called "BrickJournal." Santa will be bringing a subscription for the boys.

It's fun to look through. There's an ad in there for a site called Fine Clonier. "For all your minifig decal customization needs."

Think about that. Customization of little stickers you can put on Lego mini figures. Seriously.

(And I think we might actually order the Big Papi set!)

A niche market if I heard of one!

Somewhat Expected, I Guess

Today I saw the former Christian Ed director from the church - the one who was pushed out in the spring. She passed along some interesting news.

Another family has left as a direct result of the actions of the new rector. This family leaving is a real blow, I think. The wife grew up in town and in the church. She was baptized in the church, they were married in the church, and all four of their kids were baptized in the church. The youngest just a couple of weeks ago. They made their decision to leave the day after the youngest's baptism.

The family has been very active in the church. He as a choir member and active in outreach. She as a Sunday school teacher, former vestry member - and member of the search committee that chose the new rector. Until very recently she was very active in her support for the new rector during his transition.

Here's the situation...

The family, the Ss, were very close personally to the interim rector. But they also were committed to their support of the new ministry and have been very careful and clear about that. They have been nothing but positive toward the new guy; they have kept their personal relationship with the interim very separate. When it came time for their youngest (born in July) to be baptized, they dutifully scheduled it with the church. But because of their personal connection to the interim, they asked him to come to a family gathering the night before and offer a blessing for the baby. Not a baptism, just a blessing. In no way usurping the role of the new rector.

The new rector heard about this. He was not pleased. As the former Christian Ed put it, "The water in the baptismal font might have well have been ice for the way he was behaving toward the S family."

This guy is such an self-absorbed, arrogant man that he could not see through his own shit to offer that baby the love and warmth he deserved on the day of his one and only baptism.

Apparently, there were little things going on in the background, too, but the S family worked hard to put on a good face. The baptism was the final straw. While one could argue that the interim should have bowed out, no wonder they wanted some warmth and love from the interim!

I've been to church, I think, three or four times this fall. The kids are still in choir and like it, but we only go when they are singing. S has actually liked it more - but that is because her best bud is there in Sunday school with her. The last time I was there....um...mid-November, I think, the rector said something in his (rambling, unconnected) sermon about he and most of the rectors in the diocese think attendance is on the upswing and that pledge drives are going well. Several of us in the back pews rolled our eyes at this as we counted the empty pews up front. And I happen to know they aren't meeting pledge targets.

So, as ever, news but no progress in any positive direction. It's still very sad for me.

Reunion

On Friday night we were scheduled to go to my husband's 25th high school reunion. We've been to his reunions before and they have been mostly fun though the last one - the 20th - was just after C was sick and my dad died; we were so emotionally spent, and I barely remember it. I wonder what impression we made then.

My husband has stayed in touch with several people from high school. I attribute this to his having gone to a small school in a small town. There were under 100 kids in his graduating class; there were almost 600 in mine. As such, I know many of the characters. But even if we are almost all somewhat known quantities, I wanted to look nice (read: rockin'!) in the presence of the ex-girlfriends and several classmates who were already on to their 2nd/trophy wives.

On Wednesday night, we received an email that the formal reunion event had been canceled. Response had been tepid. Instead, people who could were going to meet up at a local restaurant. As we already had the kids covered, and people we wanted to see appeared to be responding in the affirmative to the restaurant idea, we decided to go to.

It was so lame. Capital L. Lame. And demonstrates why I'll never go to my high school reunions.

We get to the restaurant and spy one woman in the bar area. She leads us back to a small room where "everyone" is. Everyone being eight others. 8. Eight.

I was the only spouse. There was only one other guy. Three of the eight hadn't graduated with the class - one had been with them through 10th grade before going to boarding school, and the other two had left after 8th grade to go to a Catholic school next town over.

So that left five women. And they all live within 20 minutes of the restaurant. They all see each other fairly regularly. Their kids are in recreation leagues together and they go to the same churches. Their parents and siblings are friends.

One of the five was the ex-girlfriend of one of my husband's closer high school friends (who was supposed to show but didn't). I've heard enough about her over the years that it was kind of hard not to call her the less than complimentary nickname by which her former paramour continues to refer to her. Don't ask.

I was kind of shocked with how these women were behaving. Talking about going out to other bars later, and so on. Not my scene. It reeked of mid-life crises.

Over the course of the evening, people we expected to show up didn't. Seems one is still holding a 20 year grudge against one of the five women who was there. Dumb. Just before we left, another guy showed up, clearly a little worse for the years. He's the kind of guy who looks like he was never young. And he definitely looks years older than my husband. None of the ex-girlfriends showed.

Oh, there were two other guys in the restaurant, I learned later, but they decided to stay at the bar. Classy.

I kept thinking back to that Dixie Chicks song, "Long Way Around."

This isn't to say the evening was terrible waste. It was nice to see this one woman. She and my husband were good pals in high school, and I think hubby would like to get back in closer touch. I'll try to make that happen this summer. She's a friend on Facebook now.

And one very sweet thing did happen. The woman who I struggled to call by the correct name had dug out her old photo album and come across a photo of my husband receiving his high school diploma from his mother, who was on the town school committee at the time. She gave it to us to keep. It was very nice of her.

We were on the road early home early, and settled with the kids before it was too late. That was a good thing as the next day hubby was working while I looked after our kids plus a friend's two kids for 10 hours while their parents went to an event. But that's another story...

Duh!

It's official: US in recession

Um, duh.

Oh, sorry. That was rude.

I meant DUH!

And stock market? This is hardly breaking news. What was the point of the dive? We've known for weeks that it's an all-bad-news-all-the-time cycle. It's going to be a long climb back to something resembling a baseline. All these freakish ups and downs are just going to give people heart attacks. So chill out already!

Sheesh.

Well, Obviously!

Yesterday morning I hoped in vain to get some extra rest. I just haven't been sleeping well.

My husband was off to work early. M was up shortly thereafter and went down stairs for computer time. S was next up and wanted my attention. I encouraged her to go downstairs to find her brother. C was solidly, soundly conked out.

As I drifted off, S came back upstairs and asked for her breakfast. Ever the slacker mom, I told her to go downstairs and ask her brother for help. She tromped down the stairs.

I tried drifting off again, but S was back in my face, telling me that M had refused. I told her to tell him to come here.

A few minutes later, M was upstairs and I was asking him to please help S get some breakfast, that I really needed some extra rest and didn't want to be grumpy during the day because of lack of it. M, however, started using a whole lot of attitude, at which point my annoyance and blood pressure was raised a touch he lost the privilege of going back on the computer. He sulked downstairs - but I did hear yogurt and Rice Krispies in the works for S.

I tried again to doze off, to no vail. So much for extra sleep.

Later in the morning M reported to me an exchange they had during breakfast.

M: S, why did you tell on me?

S: Because you're a boy.

And there you have it. A reason as plain as day.