This Week in Suburban Law Enforcement

Friday May 22

3:03 p.m. Party reports two youths took two bags of cans from the transfer station. Officer dispatched to residence.

[We like our trash, and we don't like anyone stealing our trash. If you steal our trash, we'll call the police so we can have our trash back!]

Saturday, May 23

10:02 p.m. State DPW truck with lights flashing and no one around reported. State DPW notified.

[Sounds about right for a state department of public works crew. The lights are one but nobody is home.]

Monday, May 25

10:08 p.m. Caller reports motor vehicle pulled up to neighbors house and is hearing loud voices. Officer reports person taking pictures of dragon for scavenger hunt.

[A local firefighter welded together some scrap metal to make a dragon sculpture. He even created a little habitat/display area for it in his front yard, with lighting. He dresses it up on a regular basis to reflect upcoming holidays or events. Today it is wearing a cap and gown.]

Tuesday May 26

8:25 a.m. Swans in road on C_______ Street causing traffic problem. Animal control notified.

2:54 p.m. Carrier pigeon found in yard on S_______ Road. Animal control notified.

7:42 p.m. Caller reports hitting duck on T________ Lane. Area search negative.

[It was a big day for the Animal Control Officer. Three of the five police log entries were animal-related. The police officer's union is currently trying to negotiate a raise; perhaps the ACO officer is the one who deserves it more!]