Trying to See the Bigger Picture

It's amazing sometimes what life throws at you. If you had told me that I'd have to deal with some recent stuff, I likely would not have believed you.

My family is all physically okay, thank goodness. We still are sorting out emotional fallout from the thing with S and that friend, mostly for M and me. A is not allowing P and M to see each other, and she's shutting me out firmly. On some levels, I can understand it, but at least for M and P - well, they had nothing to do with anything. I'm becoming very adept at excuses to M why he can't see P, but I hate lying to him.

Even if P and M are allowed to be friendly again, I suspect my friendship with A is lost. This makes me very sad; I don't open up to new friends easily. It takes time, and my friendship with A was several years in the making. But thinking about that evening at our house and what I interrupted, I'd act in the same way again. I protected my daughter, and hopefully her son is getting help.

However, this is a small town. I don't know if she intends to avoid me altogether from now on or what. It could make for some very awkward moments, and especially with scouts. Scouts isn't my favorite thing, but M loves it. A is his den leader. I don't know what will happen in the fall.

This whole situation makes my heart feel heavy. I know I did the right thing, but it's a lonely feeling.

In addition to all that, what happened over the weekend just makes me angry.

C broke his wrist over the weekend. He was playing soccer in another town, and after successfully defending the ball, he was intentionally fouled hard after the play was over. The injury happened breaking his fall from that foul. The kid who fouled him similarly (intentionally) fouled another of C's teammates in early May, resulting in...a broken wrist. Apparently that kid as some anger management issues. Anyway, after coming off the field, one of C's coaches managed to align the bone, then my husband took him to the ER. Upon leaving the field, the coach for the other team told C to, "Stop whining." Lovely. C's coach says he intends to file a formal grievance with the league.

I know C could have gotten hurt at any time while playing soccer, but since it was the direct result of someone else's malicious actions, I''m just pissed. And this injury, at this time of year, doesn't just affect the rest of the soccer season (and baseball season). It affects sailing season - and C really, really loves sailing. He had planned the next two summers of lessons to maximize his chances of getting on the high school sailing team (we're one of the few public schools in the country that has a high school team). Sailing starts in two weeks, and C was scheduled to learn a new boat this summer. I just had to withdraw him from first session. We're keeping our fingers crossed for second session, but honestly, it doesn't look good.

Someone noted that in these kinds a situations, new interests necessarily rise to the surface. I hope that's true. The break is on C's right side, and of course he's right handed, so writing is out for a while. But his left hand is fine...and when he plays French Horn, it's his left hand that presses the keys. So I'm looking into a summer music program for him instead.

It's two weeks until school is out. It's a mad dash and endurance race all at once. There are field trips and awards nights and ceremonies and this and that and the other thing. My college reunion is this weekend, and I'm finding I'm nervous for that. Our walk for the hospital is this weekend, too. Then Father's Day, a couple weeks of juggling before our summer sitter is available full-time, Fourth of July, and so on. I feel like it's September already! Yes, summer is that full already.