To Each Child, His or Her Own

Yesterday I volunteered in S's classroom. It was lots of fun. What was most interesting was the full range of skills and abilities among all the kids - yet each was totally ready for school.

A couple of weeks ago I received an email from someone I didn't know. It was a mass emailing advertising a "pre-writing" workshop for 4 and 5 year olds. In addition to being curious about how the sender acquired my email address, I was stunned at the content. The email said, among other things:

Times are changing. Today's kindergartners are expected to write more than ever. It's not uncommon for them to be expected to write in a journal in the first weeks of school. They need strong skills to meet these high expectations.

and

We will address sound symbol recognition (letter sounds), good pencil grip and top to bottom left to right letter formation as well as introduction to journal writing to help get your preschooler and kindergartner off to the right start.

I was more than a little horrified. Journal writing for a four year old? To quote my husband, "Are they high?" While I applaud the entrepreneurial spirit of two local moms (a speech therapist and and occupational therapist), I think their target is way off base. They have no understanding of the goal of Kindergarten, at least in this town.

Kindergarten isn't even mandated in this state. It's not. You don't have to send your kid if you don't want to. As such, the goal of Kindergarten in this town is an introduction to the school experience, socialization and needs assessment. It's when the town figures out where kids are at so that going forward they can differentiate need and target instruction.

Going through Kindergarten for the third time in this town, I can tell you that this works pretty well. Not perfect, but pretty well. M, of course, was bored in Kindergarten since he was already reading well and doing higher level math, but we knew that going in; were able to supplement him with a great extended day program and other things - and he still needed to establish social ties with other kids in his grade and be assessed for the future (and now in 4th grade, things are mostly fine! And C, in 8th grade, is doing great). From C's and M's experience I knew what was going to happen for S. And it has.

As far as the "expectation" implied in the email, it's just way off-base! Yes, in November in Kindergarten they do start a "journal" but there's no expectation that it's at any particular level. It's just one of the ways they introduce writing as part of literacy and evaluate and assess. They actually don't care where a kid starts - only drawings and some words or all words and no drawings or any other combination - as long as a kid does start and they are able to support a progression of skills throughout the year.

And in terms of letter formation, so much of that has to do with the development of fine motor skills - and that's totally on an individual schedule; it's something you can't force. When we left North Carolina, I stayed in touch (briefly) with a couple of office mates with similarly aged children. One told me how her daughter was learning cursive in Kindergarten and what a struggle it was. Duh!

It became clear to me pretty quickly that this is a workshop that is more about parental competition than it is kids' needs. If your 4 or 5 year old is ready for writing, super - as long as it's your kid who wants it. You don't need a workshop to force it. If your kid is asking, show and teach and all that - but don't force it.

Yesterday's volunteering session was a great reminder of that. S's class is group 18 interesting and engaging kids. Some clearly have strengths in one area and other strengths in other areas. All of them were really pretty cute - and I think all of them would have been annoyed to go sit in a bare room at the library and be forced to copy letters. The lead teacher and her assistant had an impressive understanding of the different needs of the different kids and I watched them address individual needs as such. I left feeling like my daughter is in good hands and will come through this year not only learning, but really enjoying school.

After yesterday, I wanted to write back and tell these women to just chill the eff out. Let your kids be kids - let all kids be kids!

(I did email one of the two women and asked how she acquired my email address. She lifted it from a formal school communication for parents of Kindergarteners - a big no-no. I contacted the principal of S's school and they have since clarified appropriate use of such information for the entire school community. And I wonder why I'm not popular...:-D )