Recovery

It’s taking a while to recover from our vacation. The part where we traveled around with the kids was great. The part where we were near my family was mostly fine – just fine, but there were some moments, of course, and fairly classic ones at that. What I am recovering from is some mother comments and sister stunts.

Now, I would love to dish with you about what was said and done. Truly, I have some juicy stories. Or, I should say, typical stories. Those of you who have heard sister or mother stories before would be amused and/or aghast. But as we all know, the Al Gore’s Nifty Invention is not all that anonymous and one must take care. Even what I have written thus far is risky.

I’m also trying to start scanning pictures of my father for a photo book I am putting together. I intend to give this book to my siblings and niece and nephews (and my own kids) for Christmas. I borrowed some photos from my sister and brother, and am digging through a couple of boxes of old family photos.

That, along with the recent visit, is churning up some memories.

So here I am, feeling a little bit whiny and self-pitying, wondering why it is that families can be the way that they can be. The emotional support that I have yearned for over the years is just not there, even as I have made my best efforts to offer up support and a listening ear. I know in the end that it’s really not me, it’s them, but it still aches deep down.

At the same time, I continue to feel resolve to not let this happen in my own nuclear family. I can’t guarantee this, of course, but I do and will try to keep communicating and to keep being there without being overbearing. And always to love and accept, of course.

I seem to have done a decent job of shielding the kids from my issues with my family. They love visiting and seeing their cousins and aunt and uncle and grandmother. C even talks about going out there for college to spend more time with them (Note to the higher power: Please, no!), even as my two oldest nephews talk about leaving there. I am glad for the kids’ enjoyment of the trips/visits. It helps balance my anxiety, and in their glee they don’t notice my moodiness as much.

I haven’t been able to get organized since we’ve been back. I’m getting through the basics in a day, but I’m scattered and slow and I’m not getting as much time outside in the sun as I should be. The sunshine would help.

School starts bright and early tomorrow. C’s bus comes at 7:00AM. M’s at 8:30 starting on Wednesday (just visiting day tomorrow). S will see all her friends at preschool tomorrow and is beside herself trying to wait for that.

(Meanwhile, my husband just took C up to the city for an x-ray of his foot. C seems to have broken his little toe on his left foot yesterday – while hanging out with his pediatrician’s son. The toe is swollen and purple. They won’t be able to do much, but C will get a note to be excused from gym for a couple of weeks.)

I’m looking forward to getting back into a regular routine. Routine, time, space, and distance seem to be what I need to recover from these trips. I’ll get over the whiny-ness and self-pity in short order. Going through pictures of dad will be more sweet than bitter and the kids will have a more even mom.