Raised Voices

I had a confrontation with the rector of the church this morning.

Yesterday I learned that the Missions team is not going to South Carolina this year. They might try to go elsewhere, but they have no firm plans. "They" decided it wasn't right for the Missions kids to be competing for funding when the church is in rather serious financial straights. ($30K deficit last year, projected $28K deficit coming year, we owe $70K to the diocese, and budgets are already adjusted down to consider the lower pledging).

Missions is one of the few reasons we've been hanging on. C has been looking forward to the time when he could go on Missions. This changes things. I already knew R, the rector, wasn't into the Missions "thing" but H, a vestry member I know swore she'd keep it going after S, the Christian Ed director was pushed out. However, it looks like H has gone over to the dark side, as it were.

Also, I learned that members of the vestry have been instructed to keep vestry proceedings secret, including to family members. Churches+secrecy=bad things. See, Boston, Catholic Archdiocese of.

Anyway, when R spoke to me in the patronizing tone he reserves for dissenters this morning (the one that tries to say, "See, I am friendly and nice, so it's not *me* that's the issue"), I kinda lost it.

I told him how upset I was. He denied any involvement in the decision. I said he influenced it. Again he denied it. For everything, the response was, "It's not me. It's not my fault. You can blame me if you want, but it's not my fault."

Nothing, apparently, is his fault. He takes zero responsibility for any negative in the church. It's, "I can't control that," or, "It's the economy," or something else. It's never anything to do with him - in spite of the evidence that the downhill trend started immediately after his arrival.

If he were an appropriate spiritual leader, pledges might not be as high as they have been in past years, but they wouldn't be down by 45K (80K if you take into account that pledging goals were already lowered). I checked a church a couple towns north - their pledges are down 7K. When times are tough, people prioritize their giving far more carefully. People around here are not prioritizing it toward this church. Gee, wonder why.

R likes to say he can run a church like a successful business. Um...any leader of a business that oversaw this kind of decline this rapidly would have been pushed out by the board of directors already.

So, anyway, there were raised voices. I came home after the service and wrote a very strong letter to the bishop. I don't know if I will send it, but it felt good to get it on paper.

The easy - and maybe even the best - thing to do would be to walk away, find another church. But then I get angry. Why should I leave my church? I was there first! Also, knowing there are many others who are struggling, why should we shut up and let this happen? Why should we let him win?

I just don't know what will happen. I'm sad and angry all over again.

On a completely different note, we went to a hockey game this afternoon and now have a favorite minor league hockey player.

The next morning: I sent the letter. Surprise, surprise, it's already been dismissed by the bishop.

The next afternoon: Terse email from the vestry. "We received a copy of the letter. We will respond in writing." That's it.