I Shouldn't Be Surprised

I called my sister on my way home today. I called mostly to check to see how she was doing; she had called me in some tough moments yesterday for a little sisterly support.

We got to talking about Dad - mostly good stuff, but then a bit about the end. My sister told me something she hadn't told me before, a detail. She said she hadn't told me before because I was in a fairly fragile state after Dad's passing so soon after C's illness, and all followed fairly soon by early pregnancy. I admit I was rather an emotional mess for a bit there.

About two weeks after Dad died, my sister went to the home nursing facility where Dad had been cared for and talked to his caregiver. Dad had been failing for a few days, and she and his wife were pretty sure it was the end. They did not call.

That part I knew. That's upsetting enough.

Apparently in those last days, Dad was calling out for us kids. For my sister, for my brother, for me. And Dad's wife forbade the caregiver from making any calls to any of us (she had the numbers).

Forbade.

I'm stunned, but I shouldn't be. I'm not really surprised. It was par for the course for that woman. (Did I ever mention the wife was once the family babysitter? Whom my parents met at church. We hadn't seen her for 20 years when she suddenly appeared after Dad retired.)

Of course I wish the caregiver had called anyway, but I don't blame her at all. What an awful position the caregiver was put in.

I'm just very sad. All over again.