Disgusted
My sister just sent me an email letting me know that she is having an extra-marital affair. Then she tried to justify it saying that God wants her to be happy.
This makes me so mad and brings up so much crap for me. I don't understand why she felt the need to share this information with me. I won't condone it, and she knows that. I feel sick that I'm somehow an accessory by this knowledge. What the hell am I supposed to do with this information?
My parents divorced when my mom had an extra-marital affair and decided to leave my dad to marry the guy. It was an ugly, ugly situation. My mom also tried the God wants me to be happy thing. I remember the three of us kids were all disgusted and devastated when we found out what had been going on.
And now, twenty-five years later, my sister is repeating the cycle.
I've recently watched a friend endure her husband's infidelity and try to rebuild her marriage. It was so hard to watch.
I remember being 14 and my world and everything I thought was real and true crumbling in an afternoon. My youngest nephew is 14 now.
I've worked hard in my own marriage because I love my husband and I love the life we have built and I made a vow before family, friends and God to be faithful until death. I believe in that commitment.
Not that I believe you should torture yourself if you are unhappy in a marriage, because I don't. But an affair is such a cop out! If you are that unhappy and can't possibly restore the relationship, leave the marriage first. Show some dignity and self-respect - and respect for your spouse. Then go do whatever, with whomever.
But don't have an affair. And don't try to justify it using God's name.
7 comments:
Wow.
I'm sorry!
K
Thanks. I'm worried about how far she is going to take this and the impact on her kids.
Just so glad we aren't right there, in the thick of it.
I'm so sorry. I totally agree. Fix the relationship you are in, or get out of it. Do not have an affair in the middle of it...bad idea, bad choice. She made a bad choice. Why did she tell you? What was she thinking? hugs. LT
For the record, this is not her first affair. After she told me about the first one (that was on and off for a couple years -this was several years ago), I was strong and stern and laid into her. She knows how I feel about this. So I have no idea why she told me.
It's really churned me up.
Wow.... Just wow.
I'm really sorry for you, and even sorrier for what your nephew must be enduring right now.
It makes me furious just to read her justification for the affair, and I'm not even related to her.
I think I better understand the family issues you've alluded to now.
I'm sorry to hear about your sister. Be strong for her children. They may need you.
Ruthie - I don't think my youngest nephew knows about it. Or, if he does, it's not an active knowledge. If and when it comes out, I'm sure he'll piece weird bits together (like I did at the same age).
WUASTC (easier than typing it all out) - yes, I plant to be available for the kids. Long before any of this, and before I had my own kids, those boys were the beneficiaries of my work life insurance policy with the instruction that the money go to their therapy fund.
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