Where to Begin?

The last couple weeks are something of a surreal blur.

As much as I tried to enjoy the holiday in spite of the job thing, there was a gray cloud always hovering on the periphery.

I was in the post office on the Friday before Christmas and saw an acquaintance. As we were chatting I mentioned that I had been laid off (no one likes bad news, especially at the holidays, so I made sure to not say it first thing and approach it very casually – at least I tried to).

N: I was laid off seven years ago and it was the best thing that ever happened to me. Did you get any severance?

Me: A little.

N: You should travel! Really relax and enjoy yourself before even thinking about a new job. That’s what I did and it was really great.

Me: How much severance did you get?

N: A year and a half.

At which point I about choked before managing to say that my severance was not quite so generous. She stared at me blankly – like she couldn’t comprehend that. Then I was called up to the counter, we said our Merry Christmases, and that was that.

I made a couple of contacts over the break, but knew I wouldn’t have a ton of time to devote given the kids would be home. I emailed some old friends about some other writing. Picking up a freelance article here and there may work out, but it’s not income I’ll be able to depend on.

Back to the holiday.

One of the more fun things we did for the kids had to do with the fish. Remember Pasta and Noodle and now there is only one? Well C decided that he wanted to get a new fish as a surprise for M and S. It was this elaborate scheme to go buy the fish after church on Sunday, hide it, and so on. But we did it, and just after M and S went up to bed on Monday night, C put the new fish in the bowl and went up himself. Little did he know what Santa had up his sleeve!

After the kids finally were asleep, we brought a ten-gallon tank up (complete with filter and light) from the basement and set it up, putting both fish in. When the kids came downstairs the next morning, they were very surprised, especially C. It was so fun to see his face.

The kids enjoyed Christmas day very much. I love that they still light up when they see the tree in the morning.

After Christmas, however, C’s asthma kicked in badly and we ended up at the doctor’s office on Wednesday. He’d started coughing a couple days before, and the cough was becoming productive. He’d been on his maintenance meds and a nebulizing treatments, but his pulse-ox had dropped to 91. He ended up going on a cocktail of another maintenance med, steroids, antibiotics and more rigid nebs for several days until we got him back to baseline. He spent Thursday on the couch – literally moving only to use the toilet. But by Saturday morning he was restless – and Sunday night slept over at a friend’s house. At a follow up on Monday, his cheeks were pink again, and the pulse-ox was up at 98. Phew, phew, phew.

So now it’s Wednesday, a new year. My resume is updated, I’m emailing just about everyone I know and asking them to keep ears out. I’ve applied for unemployment insurance. And I am nervous.

I know things could be much worse. I know. The last time I was laid off was in March of 1991. It was different then. There was just two of us, and our life was a tad simpler.

I don’t know what is going to happen. I am trying hard to keep a positive frame of mind (and telling myself it’s early yet to get discouraged).

Wish me luck.

Meanwhile, must rescue S from the Backyardigans. Anyone else find them oh-so-annoying? Not quite Barney level of annoying, but annoying.