Panic

I haven't written much lately about C's health in relation to his illness, or fallout from his illness. I didn't write about it much in the spring. The first spring I blogged was very helpful for me to process the many varying emotions around the experience. I still think about that time in our lives, though. I think about it every day. And I never quite know when something will trigger a reaction related to that time.

This afternoon when C arrived home from school, I was on the rowing machine. He told me about something that happened in the final minutes of the school day. Apparently an 8th grade boy was walking from the office to his class, jumped to try to touch the ceiling and lost his footing on the way back down, hitting his head on the floor (C described it much more graphically). The boy was placed on a Med-Flight into a trauma center in the city. The school sent out an automated phone message shortly thereafter, and there is no update on the boy's condition yet.

C doesn't know who the boy is, but is concerned. However, hearing this threw me into a panic attack while I was exercising. Suddenly my vision was tunneling and I was having a hard time breathing. Knowing that there was a local parent going through something so awful and scary at this very moment is what triggered it. I can manage the general but less specific knowledge that someone somewhere is going through such a thing, though it makes me uncomfortable and squirmy to think about it. Knowing it so concretely still rocks me right back to the seconds/minutes/hours in that PICU room when we didn't know whether C would live or die.

So, if you would, some prayers and good energy for all the kids and parents in this world going though a medical crisis. They could use them.

I'll let you know if I hear anything.